Can i just tie these like regular shoelaces?

Not suggest. strong elastic laces not easy for you tie as regular items.

Why cant I get the buttons to lock?

IF you are referring to the round button not locking, what you have to do is PRESS DOWN really hard on the center of the button and THEN put the lace thru one channel, repeat for the 2nd channel in the button. When you release the pressure the button locks down firmly on the elastic lace. Then you have to press the center of the button to move the button up and down the laces.

what is the length of the shoe lace?

They are long, about twice as long as needed for a pair of tennis shoes. Would measure them, but they are all used.

Can the athletic shoes be washed with the laces and locking tabs still on ?

I am going to guess “yes.” However, I never place my athletic shoes in the washing machine. I read somewhere that it is not recommended. If needed I hand wash my shoes with a brush.