Can you use a fire starter log on this ?

The mesh top appears to be stainless so I do not see why you could not use a starter. My question would be whether you are referring to a small "starter" or the type of log that some people burn in a fireplace. I would avoid those except possibly in small pieces as a starter. Keep in mind that this is intended for a small fire using sticks and branches not logs.

how many fires wil this take before the mesh needed to be replaced?

????How big are the fires, what kind of wood are you using, how long do you let them burn, do you clean the mesh before you put it away, etc etc etc???? Each user is different so there is no way to possible answer your question. I have used mine about ten times since I bought it and it still works.

Does this item come with the grill grate and the appropriate hooks for the grill grate?

Hi… It does not have a grill grate it is for small pieces of wood… I actually used the light up fire place logs. It is pretty sturdy but small.

How do you remove the stain the fire makes?

I clean mine with a stiff (non metal) brush and put it away. I am not worried about a stain, I just want to keep the spaces in the wire open to allow air flow.