Why Gender Matters, Second Edition: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences

My wife and I blog at "Why Homeschool." Over the last seven years several of our readers encouraged us to read "Why Gender Matters" by Leonard Sax. My wife quickly accepted the suggestion, but I was slow in taking the advice. Recently I finally got around to reading the book and I wish I had read it sooner. I liked the book so much I encouraged my older two daughters to read the book. When my wife and I were first blessed to be parents we tried to encourage our daughters to play with boy toys. We got them Legos, trucks and so on. They used Legos to make beds for their dolls. The trucks were turned into families with the bigger trucks being the parents and the smaller trucks being the babies. Why Gender Matters explains what happened with our daughters. The books covers how the average boy and girl brains are different and what that means to both parenting and education. The author even goes so far as to say: "The failure to recognize and respect sex differences in child development has done substantial harm over the past thirty years - such will be my claim throughout the book." (page 7) The author reports on study after study that shows the brain wiring and tissue in females is intrinsically different than males. Here are some of the results of various studies: The left side of the brain in men is specialized for language functions while it is more spread out for women. New born girls hear better than new born boys. Girls draw nouns, boys draw verbs. Boys have a harder time talking about emotions because the part of the brain that talks is not closely connected with the part of the brain that feels. Boys and girls access risk differently. Boys and girls feel pain differently. The author explains how discipline should be different for boys and girls. If a young girl takes another girls doll, you can sit them down and ask them to think about how the other girl felt. By slowly walking the young girl through the experience she'll literally start to feel the emotions the other girl felt. Often she'll feel bad enough that she won't do it again. But it does no good with a young boy. With boys it is better to make sure the boy is supervised and assert your authority in a calm I'm in charge way. Another interesting thing is with boys aggression often builds friendships. After a serious fight two boys may become best pals. But a fight between two girls normally destroys any chance of friendship. The friendship between girls is typically face-to-face. They'll talk for hours. The friendship between boys is typically shoulder-to-shoulder. They'll do things together. In terms of education girls are more likely to want to do well to please the teacher. Boys are more likely to study if they find the material interesting. Girls are comfortable asking for help. Boys see asking for help as a last resort. The author explains that because the brains of boys and girls development in different sequences most boys really are NOT ready for academics in kindergarten. It is not developmentally appropriate. The author constantly makes the point that one type of brain isn't better or worse, just that they are different. We've seen a trend in the last couple decades to see boys who act like boys as being broken and needing medication to get them to behave like girls. I think every parent and every teacher should read this book. I found it insightful and convincing. It has improved how I parent and interact with all children.

As the mother of a boy and a girl this book was extremely informative in the differences of growing girls and boys and how to best assist them in becoming successful men and women!

If you teach, you need this information! I have taught special ed for 21 years, and have taught religious classes to children and teens for 36 years. Knowing the information in this book could have saved me time and trouble! I have been able to immediately put this information to use, to help a traumatized little boy and to encourage a bullied little girl. This book had answers to situations I have puzzled over for years. The author gives only pertinent details- densely packed information in a readable style. No fluff to waste your time. And he addresses popular theories that disagree with his experience . If you want to be ineffective and continue to be frustrated in teaching, read what is politically correct. If you want to know how to actually reach kids and help them reach their potential (and make classroom management easier) then read this instead!

First off, let me say that I enjoyed this book. It provides a ton of interesting insights in the psychological differences of boys and girls, and it definitely opened my eyes to not only the significance of gender, but the importance as well. You don't have to be a psychology major to appreciate the book either. Let me also say this book was written to educate parents and teachers about the role of gender in children ranging from 1-18. Even in the book Leonardo assumes that his reader is at least 25 years of age. Since I am a 17 year old guy, I was interested (and a little surprised) in what Leonardo thought about kids my age and the high school environment. Don't get me wrong, there's allot to love about this book, but I felt like he overgeneralized adolescent males to be aggressive, impulsive, sex obsessed, and emotionally disconnected from how others feel. The teenage guys he was describing sounded more like juvenile delinquents to me. He consults families with delinquents all the time, so I supposed I can understand his generalization. Apparently, he also cites a study in which a large majority of "normal" college guys found sexual fantasies of rape to be arousing, which I find extremely fishy. Being a senior in a private co-ed high school, I can also say that I also agree with most of what he said about the high school scene, even though the description seemed to fit more for a poor public high school. The most interesting tidbit of information in that chapter was the study taken on highs school relationships. The study concluded that the average relationship lasted "11 weeks, 2 weeks of infatuation, 4 weeks of relative happiness, and 5 weeks of general disintegration". That definitely agreed with my experience of what I see, and most I know about last even less than that. He also makes it sound like sex is rampant in high school by citing studies showing that around 50% of kids have sex by the time they graduate. My perspective: it really depends on the school. I found that some of his opinions you have to take with a grain of salt. He also devotes a large section of the book to discipline and talks about the different ways of punishing girls and boys according to their psychological orientation. Even though this was my least favorite part of the book, there was a plethora of interesting stuff to learn about. However, I found Leonardo's suggestion to parents that they should monitor their kids email, instant messaging, and track their location with a GPS watch simply absurd. Part of a healthy relationship between a child and a parent is TRUST. If you don't have that, you can throw the whole relationship away. That kind of suggestion should be left to parents who have kids that are drug addicts or alcoholics. The Verdict: Buy the book, it's an interesting read. If you are into gender studies you will love it, but take some of his opinions lightly.

Difference matters and knowing those differences will help you to better understand yourself and the opposite sex. The knowledge in this book is transformative.

What every parents and every teacher in every schools should know about boys and girls. Their differences taken into consideration in order to actually promote strong young men and women.

As a homeschooling mama with a boy and girl the same age this book is helping sooooo much. I thought I understood some of the differences before but this... this is a whole 'nother level

This book is insightful and thorough in giving clarity on behavioral differences in genders.

I started it on audible but I need to study these chapters. It has blown me away. It’s a must read for every member that constitutes today’s society.