The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Paperback – March 30, 2021

i'm never going outside again fr. but in all seriousness this book is incredibly important and i think everyone, especially women, would benefit greatly from giving this a read and dedicating time to contemplating its message

I spent 20 years on the streets in local law enforcement. I always felt that the Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO) we served on stalkers and spousal abusers were as worthless, in most cases, as the paper they were written on. Usually they simply served as a salve to sooth our justice system's guilt over unwillingness or inability to take strong and immediate action, or develop alternative solutions. As Gavin de Becker so aptly points out, when it comes to committed stalkers and abusers, not only are they not afraid of a piece of paper, it incents them to even a higher degree of activity and perhaps violence. The author makes an excellent case that we should be much more judicious in evaluating such cases against a threat matrix and respond in different ways depending on the nature of the threat.I also greatly appreciate the author's discussion of the origins of fear and how important it has been in allowing mankind to develop. In addition to the twenty years I spent in law enforcement, I am also a Certified Body Language trainer and teach the power of nonverbal communication. As research has shown, what we call women's intuition is in reality the fact that women, on average, are far better at picking up nonverbal cues than men. That "intuition" was absolutely essential for the females of our species to survive in a very hostile world, where they were of slighter stature and needed to quickly detect threats around them. As the primary caregiver to children they also needed to be able to effectively interpret the cues and needs of infants and small children before spoken language.One interesting study involved showing short film clips with the sound turned off to groups of men and women. Women scored an incredible 87% accuracy in evaluating the situation shown in the video. Afraid guys we only scored 42%. fMRI scans reveal women use 14-16 regions of their brains during communication, while men only 4-6 areas (most women probably would dispute giving us that much credit-:)In modern society, in the interest of being "polite", we often suppress our natural intuition, our gut feelings. Back in my police career we didn't even have a term called Body Language. We only knew it as "street-smarts". One of my great fears has to do with my beautiful wife's suppression of her natural intuition around strangers, in the interest of being polite and non-judgemental. The nature of my our respective careers requires us to live in a dense urban area, surrounded by all sorts of threats. Dark parking lots, underground garages, elevators and streets filled with street people and drug addicts. While our building is very secure, once you are on the streets it's a whole different ball game. She has terrific intuition when she uses it. She is like a perfectly honed tuning fork when she is willing to trust her intuition, but due to her kind and trusting nature, she often suppresses it in the interest of being all-inclusive and accepting.Gavin de Becker's loud message to women, Trust your gut, Don't suppress your intuition, Don't worry about hurting some stranger's feelings is a powerful one. It is my hope that my wife and every woman will be willing to read the book, reflect on all the powerful stories in The Gift of Fear, including the author's personal story.

Loved it, particularly the real world examples and the direct advice. Helpful read if you have anxiety abs especially in our current era.

Its awesome, really good book. I used it for college

This is a must read for all girls and women. (Men too) I made my daughter read it when she was 16 and have recommended to many students. Priceless. Gavin is a gift to society. READ THE BOOK! SHARE IT!

This is the best book I have ever read on following your intuition in regards to safety. EVERY WOMAN should own this book!

I have been a teacher and a foster parent. The insights in this book at first made me paranoid until I took a deep breath and realized that the world is a safe place. All you have to do is listen to your gut. This is something that I'm trying to teach my children who come from a scenario where hyperville vigilance is the norm. When my kiddos are in the right space in their lives, I'm going to recommend that they read this book. It is my belief that the words written in this book will help them put part of their lives into perspective and give them better mental health.

10/10. Such an amazing book. I recommend this book so much.