How To Talk With Sick, Dying and Grieving People: When there are No Magic Words to Say (Resources on Faith, Sickness, Grief and Doubt)

This is perhaps a three hour read with several opportunities to cry. It has lots of ideas about how to speak with dying patients and their families

I’m a hospice nurse, and I wanted a book that would help me grow as a professional. I did enjoy this book, but it is definitely written with religious undertones. There are several places where Bible verses are quoted. Given that I help people who are dying of many different backgrounds and religions, the only thing I can say is that I wish the book was more universal in that sense. If you’re not Christian, you may have a hard time relating to the book. Still, it was a quick and easy read. Glad to have it on my bookshelf.

I feel that I have a better understanding and sensitivity toward those who are facing death as well as their loved ones. I pray that I will better able to offer comfort during this time in their lives.

The stories comparing two families with different responses/viewpoints to impending loss where insightful. It helped me improve my framework on how to respond to the situation before me. I agree with both the positive and critical reviews to date... There are a few pointers, but in a nutshell, there is not much you can say, just be with the person. Adding it all up: For a few dollars the audible or $3 kindle version is low risk and you may find worthwhile takeaways like I did.

The writer offers different ways how to broach the topic of advance care directives in a non threatening way to enable a productive, thoughtful conversation to learn how one wishes to die when their time has come. Learning what FULL CODE is makes me think this type of life saving measure should be done only on younger, healthy people who are NOT in a hospital setting. For an older adult who is in the throes of dying, CPR seems like a cruel and unusual punishment that will only cause greater suffering. What I liked most about the book is the concept of viewing life and death through the three phases, especially the third phase: finding meaning through suffering.

This book is written with the sensitivity that only is found in listeners. Patrick has written, not only as an expert in the field, but also as someone who has walked the walk with patients and families in deep despair. There is no silver bullet or formula for success here, but rather a tried and true method of listening to the patient and the voice of God at the same time. As a Hospice volunteer, I devoured the book, and I will begin putting its insight and suggestions to work immediately. This will become my “go to” book for as long as I volunteer, Patrick’s easy style of writing and his obvious closeness to the Spirit of God, make this book invaluable in treating the suffering with dignity and grace. Thank you, Patrick!

If you feel you wouldn’t know what to say to someone in the middle of a crisis, this book will help you. But be prepared: It may cause you to reconsider some of your tightly-held convictions. It may bring up some old painful memories. But it may also give you the gift of helping find meaning in the midst of your own crisis, or of helping you help someone else find meaning in theirs.

I’ve been a pastor for 18 years. For the past 2 years, I’ve been a hospital chaplain. And my wife and I have had our own grief. After trying to figure out how to explain to others how they can help those who are in grief, I finally have a resource to hand them. Patrick’s book is like the best parts of a coaching conversation with Patrick. The examples, the direction of what to say and what not to say, the thoughtfulness all come through in this book. I’ve had the opportunity to work with him in real life, and now I can share that with others.