Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse

This book reads as if a friend wrote it to you. Gave me such a new perspective. Validated so many things that I was made to feel crazy about. This book helped me out of a very dark place and helped me see what I couldn’t due to the abusive relationship I was in. I am forever grateful to the man who wrote it. May God rest his beautiful soul.

Whole Again offers Sunshine, and Jackson's thesis is that we find it not at the end of some tunnel, but inside ourselves. Jackson did a great job clarifying what it means to be whole again with an emphasis on personality disorders, which seem to be more and more a cultural norm. I've been eating up all the PD content I can because it causes damage in my family and I don't want any of that damage to come from me; I want to be a part of the solution. This was the first writing that I have read so far where he really clearly guides the reader into what healing looks like instead of just talking about the problem and different coping techniques. I loved his honesty about where he was at on his spiritual walk. I'm a Christian and it was good for me to differentiate my perspective from his in certain moments in his book; where he talks about "unconditional love" I see as 1 John 4:7-8 "God is love," God is agape (the term agape means unconditional love in Greek)... so it was a pretty clear parallel although we might have some different things to say regarding the ins and outs of what unconditional love is and means. I loved the part about our hearts being "unstruck," I loved your painting of the "protective self," and I really needed to hear about how we don't have to constantly be in the healing process, but that once we're out of our shells we'll just know it. It was the lightbulb moment I needed to break out of the rest of my shell. Yay! As a Christian, I see that once I have accepted Jesus (unconditional love) into my heart, the protective shell is no longer needed, since the love of Jesus (unconditional love) will heal me enough to allow me to see and even sometimes repel or avoid altogether situations and people who are unsafe for me, and to make it more of my identity to stand up for myself to create healthy, loving boundaries, and to just transparently and freely be who I am. I appreciated this book and not a week went by after I finished it that I gave it to a friend of mine who was going through her own recovery process. In fact she probably would not have accepted it if it were written by a Christian since she's been burned by some, so it was a good bridge for the two of us. Thank you, Jackson! xo

This is a really good book. It’s inspiring, easy to understand, and helpful for healing and self-growth. I’m glad I bought it and would recommend it to others.

This book is amazing, let me start with that. I've already recommended it to 5 people, 4 of which who went out and bought it after I showed them three specific pages. It is very insightful, and has a lot of useful knowledge. My only issue is that the author used what appears to be fake conversations with people as if he was a therapist (Although he notes in his book that he is absolutely not that). In these "conversations" he writes about, I got the feeling that he often inserts himself as a superiority figure because HE himself has been able to realize whatever message he is trying to get across, but this poor poor soul does not yet realize what he does. So he assigns the person some supposed "homework" to work on the issues even though he is not a therapist himself. He will often state the issues of trying to play therapist to other people throughout this book, but I feel like he lacks his own self reflection and ability to call himself out on his own bull. I feel like he has a bit of his own ego inserted into the book that is surprising to see throughout all of the other very helpful information. Here is one example I am speaking of: Pg. 58 "That sounds so difficult," I said. "What are you doing to explore that sensation?" "Well, I've joined a lot of online communities for people recovering from narcissistic abuse. That's already been helpful" Then she smiles. "Of course, you already know that, because you run one." I laughed. "I guess I have a little bit of experience. What sort of stuff do you talk about on the websites?" .... What a "subtle" humble brag lmao. In this example he goes on to patronize her for feeling like shes an empath (As he mocks empaths quite a bit in this book. I am not even an empath but I was a bit disgusted to hear him mock them as if they're less than) and gives her more "homework" on how to sit with the void she is truly feeling. The thing is, the advice he is giving is not bad, nor is it necessarily "wrong" I just feel like you see a lot of the author's ego when you see his "conversations" with people that don't really seem like they are conversations that a normal person would have. Throughout this ego-stroke of a book, there is a lot of very insightful information that I really value. I have literally been raving about this to almost anyone I think it would be applicable for. My only complaints come from the fact that he is not a licensed professional who is trying to help people through only his own experiences, which I understand personal experience is valuable, but I feel like you need to do more source citing if you are going to write a book like this. Where does your therapeutic knowledge come from? There are many areas where I would love to see citing but the author is claiming all of these ideas as his original thoughts by often times not providing any. And maybe they are his original thoughts? But I am wondering why he doesn't have some sort of higher level education to back this up with some of the claims and explanations to behaviors that he provides. Overall, it's a great book and I don't want to take away from that. If you are trying to work through an emotionally abusive relationship, I really recommend this book. This was a good conversation starter for my therapist and I, and was an even better conversation started for my current boyfriend and I to work through potential co-dependency issues together by dealing with core issues independently. This is the first book that I've read that finally clicks. I've wondered what has been wrong with myself for the longest time, and now I understand. As much as I hate the author's ego, I am very appreciative to him for writing such a great book. It truly is a new perspective that I haven't thought of, and I will continue to recommend this to anyone and everyone.

I purchased this book in 2020, and I have read it four different times in two years. I have read other reviews from people who said that they found this book confusing or discouraging to read and they do not recommend the book. I wholeheartedly disagree. I believe these people are blocking/dismissing the content out of fear. This book has many layers within it. It examines core wounds, shame, abusive relationships, boundaries, personality disorders, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and forgiveness. I read this book four different times in two years because I realized I had to be ready to receive and understand the content within the book. When I first read it, I appreciated one angle, but could not register the other angles. My brain blocked out abstract and painful concepts. Every time I took a step forward or experienced a painful yet significant growth in my healing journey, I reread this book. The a-ha happened. The next layer of content within the book registered for me. It clicked. The content notes that a person needs to sit with discomfort and pain in order to grieve the loss of a relationship, as well as come to a radical acceptance that the relationship was abusive and that it is non-repairable. I had to be ready to digest that truth and experience, and it takes time to get to that place. I have many books on healing from toxic relationships. I’ve attended many hours of therapy and workshops. This book affirms all that I’ve learned about healing from a traumatic relationship: self-examination, self-acceptance, grief, mindfulness, and boundaries. I hope this book helps you as much as it helps me. I read it whenever I need to get back on track and/or feel affirmed. I’m grateful for this book.

I was recommended this book by my therapist and I'm glad she did! She's read it several times! I'm so into it and I'm learning and discovering things about myself I didn't realize..or didn't want to but needed to!

My therapist shared with me an excerpt from this book about the protective self behaviors and that helped me move forward tremendously. When I read the book after, I started to understand what was fueling the protective self and had to learn to love on the shame and hurt inside me by giving it space and not trying to silence or distract myself from it. I felt BAD for several days and now I notice I don’t feel as bad as I used to when things happen. I really feel like this was critical healing work that wasn’t just understanding of changing but actually healing. And I learned so much about my pervasive codependency. He talked about it such detail that I am able to consider how this construct shows up in various areas of my life. Great book.

Wonderful read. I went through half of it in one afternoon! And I do not read fast. Very insightful. It was very useful for me in understanding myself and others.

Especially valuable are the separate sections for Codependency and Cluster B Abuse Survivors, which means the survivors among us with codependency get twice as much worth out of this book. Then again... I guess we do have twice the damage. Nevertheless! Awesome book and wish there were more like it.

This book is the seamless continuation of Jackson MacKenzie's book "Psychopath Free". The focus here is entirely shifted to the healing process. The saying "Time heals all wounds" is not true for survivors of toxic relationships. The advice "Just get over it" does not work either. A breakup from a relationship with an abusive character leaves an emotional wound in the victim that doesn't heal by itself. To cover this wound the body and mind create a subconscious work-around that takes over which is called "protective self". But this creates new problems, e.g. seeking worthiness in accomplishments, people pleasing, care taking, perfectionism, or even addictions to distract from painful feelings and emotions. Jackson MacKenzie plausibly and authentically describes how this wound can be healed permanently. Different personality types will find tailored explanations how to identify the patterns of the protective self, to deconstruct it, and finally to resolve the wound. These sections provide the insights to develop the proper mind-set and to shift the perspective about the abuse and abuser. It is the shift from "I'm a bad, unworthy person" to "It happened to me, but it has nothing to do with my person". Based on this new perspective and understanding, healing is finally possible. Reading this book alone does not heal. Healing is not a cognitive process of logical thinking either. To become whole again means feeling your feelings and releasing them by practicing mindful meditation on a daily basis. Eventually external measures of worth are replaced by healthy unconditional self-love from within yourself. Thank you Jackson MacKenzie for writing these two great books!

Of all the psychobabble books I've been through this one makes a lasting impression, particularly in Chapter 3, which I've traversed half a dozen times, each time gaining further clarity. If you've been "walking on egg shells" or survived a Cluster B personal relationship, or really want to know how to get over yourself via undoing the "Protective self" then this is a breakthrough book second to none, and I've done plenty of others before this, and since. But I keep on going back and even though I started with the Audiobook, I purchased the hard copy for absolute clarity on the many revisions I've done of the material. BREAKTHROUGH NOW!

Absolutely amazing! If you're trying to heal after a painful relationship, this book can really help 🤍 It won't erase the pain, but it will help you understand what happened and make you feel a little less alone 🫂

This book is fantastic. It provides a clear and informative approach to healing, with both theory and practical advice. Over the course of reading this book I began to feel much better, and once I began putting the ideas into place within my life, I saw a huge change in how I was feeling. The book isn't just for those in or coming out of a toxic relationship, but for anyone wanting to understand themselves better: why you feel a certain way, why you have certain habits, why you attract the same people, and much more. I made notes from this book, began the healing process, and once I read it I started reading it all over again. This has become my staple read. I also love that it provides other resources for healing, and personal anecdotes which remind you that you are not alone in how you are feeling. It is also an easy read; it is accessible to all, is not filled with jargon, just pure advice and information on healing and understanding yourself better. I wanted to purchase this book for my friends, but unfortunately it was sold out! So I can't wait for it to come back into stock so I can share the power of this book. 10/10 a must read book for anyone and everyone.