The Queen's Code Paperback – June 28, 2013

Superb & insightful book! It has given me useful insight that I can use to better my relationships! Buy it!

My wife and I loved this book. It's written as a story rather than a textbook, which really draws you in. Alison Armstrong, the author, has been amazing for our relationship growth. The clear way she writes cuts through my preconceptions and defenses, helping me understand women. Especially my wife, who has needs and ways of fulfill them that seemed crazy to me. My wife felt the same when she learned about my needs, haha.Once we understood each other, it finally allowed us to give each other what we truly need, not just what I thought she needed from my man's perspective. Surprisingly, it requires much less energy, is more pleasant, and gives outstanding satisfaction to see how your actions positively impact the one you love so much. This book helped me respect and celebrate her femininity and her, my masculinity.Even at Tony Robbins' events, much of what he teaches about relationships comes from Alison's work, and he gives her credit for it. I highly recommend this book and any others by Alison Armstrong.

Read the bookIt’s very helpful and informative in so many ways. It made me in love with my boyfriend more

This book may have *saved my relationship* within 8 hours of my starting the book, and I'm only 15% of the way through it!!First, let me qualify my background, and why I bought this book:I'm an expert on men.No, really.Oh sure, lots of people may say that, but I actually mean that I am a professional expert on men. No, I'm not a lady of the evening, I'm something much lower than that - I'm a lawyer. In fact, I was one of the very first fathers' rights lawyers in the United States, with a career spanning about 30 years working with single fathers, and a *lot* of that was counselling and coaching them. So, I got, very early on, how men communicate, filter, react, share, bottle up (did I mention react) *much* differently than women, and how the translation that takes place between "she speaks, he hears" and "he speaks, she hears" is *so very vital to understand*! (Oh yeah, I'm also an author of a book on men - and coach about the differences between men and women - specifically for single fathers.)I'm also very familiar with what our society is doing to our boys (and causing our women and girls to do to our boys - have you ever seen the "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" products? No? Here you go: Boys Are Stupid Throw Rocks At Them t-shirt Think you could get away with a "girls are stupid, throw rocks at them" product line?)I actually heard about this book from a friend who was basically mocking it. That made me curious, so I came to Amazon to look it up. And, based on my work with men, and advocacy for boys, when I saw *men* posting reviews, saying things like "I have to say that this book blew my mind. Having a feminist mother and growing up in a time when men have been looked down upon for being men, I grew up knowing masculine shame," I knew I had to get it and read it.I have to tell you it was *so* refreshing to read another woman who gets it! And who gets that by trying to make men be like women we are not only doing a disservice to men, and screwing up our boys, but that we are doing a disservice to *ourselves* (women). By *honouring* the differences, it allows men to also honour *our* differences.But much more importantly, in this book Armstrong really explains how what we do to men is causing *us* (again, women) so much frustration, resentment, and anger, and robbing us of the joy *we ourselves* can experience.No, this is *not* a Dr. Laura-esque "wrap yourself in saran wrap and submit to your man" book. Not at all. It's a "understand the differences, and speak to his strengths instead of bitching about his weaknesses - which are often *your* perception of 'weakness', and not really a weakness at all - it's a *difference*" book.(Ok, I feel like I'm getting on a soapbox now...let me climb back down (I'm only 5'3, so I need that soapbox).)What is interesting about this book is that rather than a typical "do this, do that" tome, it's a narrative told in the form of a story. Sure, some of it is a little hokey ("frog farmer"? Really?) but the brilliance of this is that it gets the point across in a way that isn't all "do this, do that" or preachy.So, I got the book last night, and started reading it. I got about 15% of the way through (got the Kindle edition, that's how I know). Then I put out the light and went to sleep.This morning, I had a conversation with TMWMITU (The Most Wonderful Man in the Universe). It was a conversation - about a potentially touchy subject - which could have gone very, *very* wrong. But, as the conversation was unfolding I suddenly remembered the things I'd read last night...and ohmygod...this was *exactly* that sort of situation. So I took a deep breath, and practiced what I'd read just 8 hours earlier. Which blew me away because, in case I haven't mentioned it, I've been working in this field for nearly 30 years. But that's the magic of this book - you read it like a story, and it sticks in your head for when you need it.And guess what? ...TAHDAH! What *could* have been an awful, even relationship-ending conversation, instead went down the path of a *fantastic* conversation, with a wonderful resolution, and me feeling closer to him and happier than ever! (Now, wouldn't you like to feel that way?? If your answer is "no", then I submit that you need this book even more, because you may well be holding on to a lot of resentment, and self-righteous anger.)Because this book is truly right in my own wheelhouse of my expertise, I sincerely invite any of you to drop me a line (click on my name and "see more" to find my email address) and ask me any question that you may have, and that you think I could be helpful in answering.

This is one of my favorite books. I have it on audio book through the authors site and a physical copy. I can say with a high degree of confidence that this book has absolutely improved every relationship I have with men in my life - from my partner, to co- workers and just general encounters. It’s truly gem and I’ve recommended it to several friend. But the book. Trust me your relationship will thank you for it!

From my perspective being male, I found the information presented by Alison in her book The Queens Code to be on point. I don't recall there being anything I found objectional. I loved the way the storyline and the information flowed.In my own life, I have tried to convey some of the same sentiments, definitely not as articulate or concise as Alison presents them here.Three things I truly appreciate about this book: 1. It helped me to clearly understand what I was feeling. 2. It helped me to clarify the ideas I wanted to convey. 3. The Queens code speaks to an issue long plaguing male/female relationships and offered a solution.Take aways:- Building up a man gets the woman what she needs faster and more often than tearing him down.- Emasculating men never motivates them.- Open communication, honesty, and setting expectations are important in any relationship.- Sharing with your partner what you need from them and what it means or provide to you when they do it.I love this book. It is a great read and I have recommended it to whoever I believe will benefit from reading it, male or female. I have even bought copies for my girls, ages 33 and 25. My hope is that when they have completed the book, we can have an open discussion about the concepts presented by Alison.

Aside from the Bible, and along with The Love Dare, this is one of the most impactful, life changing books I've read in my 36 years.... as a woman with generations of divorced women/ men before her, this is a life manual I can't help but wish I was born witnessing. No time like God's time, no time like the present time, to be learning and practicing this wisdom. This format is fun, in novel style, with homework for the characters, which naturally inspires me to do the homework and take notes right along with them. I love sharing about this book and hope I can help others spread this love and knowledge.

Loved this and will read it again highly recommend this book to women at any stage of relationships and marriages