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Four friends set out by boat for a vacation on a private island. But unknown to them, a weaponized shark has escaped from a top secret military lab, a shark genetically engineered with hate in its blood, and programmed to hunt any human within range. Now, these friends must band together to battle an all new brand of predator who will stop at nothing to remain at the top of the food chain.
R**S
A Remote Control Flying Radioactive Shark? Really?
I have seen a lot of shark movies, most of them bad, but with "Raiders of the Lost Shark" the title's pun ends the fun. This is an amazingly inept shark movie filled with a nonsensical script (even if you consider it a straight parody or homage to the genre) and the worst acting I have seen in a while. Think of this as an Asylum film without the budget or talent. Starting with an extremely unappealing double date and the first encounter with the shark, you think the film has to improve but you would be wrong. The film then goes into a protracted backstory about Professor Carly Reynolds (Candice Lidstone), whose college class is not well-attended (but, hey, it's Friday!), and a confusing flashback about why she's scarred for life. Clearly The Dragon Lady (Catherine Mary Clark, who's in the running for worst performance ever in a shark movie), who controls the island, must be to blame. The Dragon Lady, who is also known as Janet, wants Carly's help on her island to kill an allegedly prehistoric shark, but there are lots of pesky strings attached. Words cannot express how wooden Clark's performance is.There's a pointless subplot about an uptight lazy sheriff (Lawrence Evenchick) and his comic relief deputy doing nothing to assist anyone ever, and a deeply disturbing performance by Scott McClelland as a boat captain ("This isn't my hand!") The most annoying part of the movie is in French with subtitles, and if you wonder why it's annoying, you'll just have to watch it and then thank the non-acting of Faith Rayah. While all that is padding the running time, Carly and Janet go to the absolutely hilarious super-secret world headquarters of Dragon Lady Enterprises (or whatever it's called) where, via amazing surveillance footage, Carly spots her students on the boat to Shark Island, although later there is a confusing point of contention that it's actually a peninsula. Why? Who knows? Carly knows that she has to get to the island to save her students and they take Janet's plane (which is never seen) while all but one of her students become shark chow. Do not miss the riveting scene where the boat captain asks the students "Anybody want a bag of complimentary nuts?" Speaking of nuts, you may well be driven nuts when you hear the captain's rousing version of "1,000 Bottles of Beer on the Boat". Don't say I didn't warn you. I particularly like the scene of the students stopping to make a cellphone call while swimming away from a shark in the lake. Fortunately the one student who makes it to shore turns out to be a shark hunting genius.Because of some crazy experiments the shark on this peninsula is able to fly. And it's radioactive. And it is remote controlled by what appears to be a garage door opener. While an idiotic flashback explains more of Carly's background, the special effects are less than reinforcing when it comes to the horror of losing your sister to a prehistoric, flying, radioactive, remote controlled shark. On the island they meet a mad scientist (No way!) named Dr. Howell, played by Richard Groen, which is appropriate as his performance will definitely make you groan. After the shark brings down Janet's plane, there's an odd confrontation leading Janet to proclaim "I own the island, but I've never been her before!" What? This all leads to an unimaginable double-cross (don't ask), more inaction from the laziest sheriff ever, and a dramatic conclusion that will not surprise or delight you in any way.While "Raiders of the Lost Shark" has one of the best (if not the best) title of any B-grade shark movie in history, it is undone by its terrible production values, acting, and script. Even though I know this movie is a tongue-in-cheek effort and not to be taken seriously (at least I sure hope so), it's hard to enjoy even for camp value. As a bonus, there are some trailers for other films on the DVD, and while some of them look promising for fans of trash cinema, others just look like fresh pain.
C**I
I watched about 20 minutes of it and that's all I cared to waste my time watching
From the look of the "actors", I'd say they were recruited off the street in front of bars, or right out of bars. Without a doubt, some of the most worthless acting, (attempts thereof) worthless directing and worthless production I've ever seen. A cgi shark which was too small for the purpose of the storyline and looked like something out of a child's video game. I watched about 20 minutes and that's all I cared to waste my time watching. The so called actors were probably paid in booze and dope for participating. Trust me, don't waste your time on this turkey film. Plenty of other films on Amazon prime which are actually worth watching. Sand Sharks is one which comes readily to mind. The cgi sharks are amusing to look at, acting is bearable and you can lyao at some of the nonsense which goes on in Sand Sharks.
T**1
No budget mess
There are low budget movies but I think this was a no budget movie. It was just bad in every way filming, location, wardrobe, casting and script. There is nothing worth watching in this mess. I don't think anyone in it could actually be called an actor. The shark was pathetic and stupid. This looks like someone watched a video of how to make a movie, bought a video camera from a pawn shop and rounded up a few people out on the street as some of the characters. The other main characters are like rejects as actors from porn movie. This just stinks. I keep thinking I've seen the worst movie possible but then here comes another to top the list. This and Zombie Croc are absolutely 2 of the worst ever.
A**D
It's worse than you might think.
It's a movie so far below the "so bad it's good" bar that it hurts. It's a movie that is so bad the people I watched it with look back and laugh on the time we wasted. It's a movie that was not at all worth the time spent watching it, even though most of it was boredom. The cover has more effort put into it than any point in the actual movie, and the CGI was so bad they literally used a hand puppet at one point and it thematically fit.Great movie to put on in the background while doing other things. When you get distracted and want to watch the movie for a bit, you'll watch it for a few seconds and immediately go back to whatever else you were doing.
D**S
A waste of your life and brain cells. Shark movie made by a two year old.
Somebody gave some one a video camera and twenty dollars and this is the junk you are given. There is nothing funny about this film at all. The script was horrible. I don't think anybody in the film knew what the concept of acting is. The shark looked like something you would expect in a Monty Python skit. I think their budget was spent on the DVD's artwork which has nothing to do with the movie at all. There is no redeeming quality to this film at all. I wouldn't be surprise to see Rifftrax take a shot at this one. This movie makes Birdemic seem like a high budgeted film from Marvel.
H**C
The shark was the best actor and it was feeble
The title is the only thing good about this film. The script is bad. The comedy not funny. The sound levels fluctuate. The production value awful. The characters are stereotypes. It views like a film school project without funding from parents. I have seen better film of birthday parties taken with a smart phone. Even the opening and end credit titles scream amateur. The actors are so bad, they must be friends and family of the crew, whose dialog delivery runs the gambit from See Spot to See Spot run.
D**X
Stay Lost.
It's not even the good kind of bad. This movie is lazy, bland and entirely phoned in. I think there was all of one scene which got any kind of reaction out of me aside from "What the heck is this even?" I especially loved the part where they tried to appropriate an LED tap light as some kind of high tech shark control device. At least slap some paint on the thing so I can't just look at it and say, "Hey, I have three of those in my kitchen!"Boring writing, uninspired cinematography, 1998 era FMV quality CGI. It's not great.
B**T
This wasn't even a funny bad film
This wasn't even a funny bad film. Really thought it might have been a fun take on raiders of the lost ark kind of thing like it suggests and kind of looks like on the cover. However it is not, this is possibly one of the poorest shark films we have watched sadly.
J**Y
Watch literally anything else instead
Truly the worst film ever. I think it must have been made as a school project. The best thing about it is the dvd cover. No relevance to raiders of the lost ark at all. We're big fans of this genre - sharknado, ghost shark etc. But this one is awful. Its not even funny. Don't waste your time!
O**T
Best film going
Best film this side of Sharknado 6
D**N
Horrible made Canadian movie
This movie was the worst shark movie ever! It is a Canadian made movie and it sucked. I took it out before the end of the 1st 1/2. That bad.
J**I
Aweful movie
Unfortunately you can't give no stars. Massive fan of shark movies but this one was a waste of money the shark looked like a toy
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