Doom - PC

Let me first elaborate on the title I gave this review, since I know the majority of you are going to look for the report button before anything else. When Doom originally came out, there were no rating systems for video games; doom was used as the de facto standard (along with Mortal Kombat) as to why the gaming industry needed to develop a rating system in order to keep these types of games out of the hands of children. Obviously it did not work; and and that was not the reasoning behind it. The point of the ESRB was to destroy video games, in the same way there's almost never a good superhero movie that isn't rated R (or the new robocop); By forcing manufactures to use the rating system or not pubish their game, the ESRB hurt the gaming industry a lot more than bad decisions often made by people in it. Anyway, enough with the history lesson. TL DR - If the original game caused the columbine massacre, then this game caused ISIS. Yes, it's that awesome.For those of you who have played though the first two dooms (and the various spin offs, like Final Doom), you will love this game. Everything in the game has been faithfully recreated, from the weapon textures, monster attacks, to the relative difficultly of the game. All the gore, all the vulgarity, all the stupidly over the top violence is there. The only real difference is how they altered the gameplay to be comparable with modern gaming.In the old days, there was no regenerating health. You didn't need to reload your weapons. There was no plot line in games like doom. You were a space marine and you killed everything in sight. All this has been updated with the times - Health does not regenerate; there are health packs, but you get health from killing monsters (and even more by using "glory" kills or by ripping them apart with the chainsaw). Weapons function like they did in the old days, except they are all modable - but you'll actually have to be careful with using ammo, as you'll frequently run out and will have to end up using your chainsaw to get more. The plot line, while not unique, does exist this time around; It has to do with limited amounts of energy on mars...and it's basically the stereotypical bad cooperation that is being destroyed by a single person. However Doom was never meant to have a story, and they did this one well.There are plenty of Easter eggs, difficulty settings (even a hardcore mode), online game modes (with the ability to play custom maps!), and time trials for you to gain extra powerups (the power-up system has seen a modern remake as well).Literally the only thing I can think of wrong with this game is how ID software never really explicitly did explain the link between BJ Blazkowicz (The protagonist from all the Wolfenstien games), Commander Keen (another ID software game which has never seen a modern reboot), and Doom Guy (BJ Blazkowicz III). This is pretty much the one thing that I've been hoping that they come up with a story for since the 1990s. I'd love to see a modern crossover between all three games; and to explain how all of BJ Blazkowicz's ancestors were cursed by the original (cyber)demon.In short, this is the best remake of an older game since Shadow Warrior - No wait, it's way better than that!

What the heck is wrong at Bethesda? And Amazon?I ordered the "PC" version vice the "PC Download Code" because I wanted to put a disc in, wait 2 hours for the install, and then play. (Mile sarcasm there.) But what do I find when I get my "PC" version via UPS on release afternoon? A "disc" that is nothing more than a version of Steam and a code to download from Steam. OK, I'm officially annoyed.I gave up PC gaming decades ago because of the ever-frequent chase for the framerate and moved to consoles. How is it a 5 year old console can play the latest games but an 18 month old PC lags? Don't give me that Moore's Law crap. But due to nostalgia, I wanted to try again. I have a newer video card and an adequate rig to play the game so why not.So while I wait the next 5 hours for my download to finish, I have time to ponder the "new" world of PC gaming where the young devs at Bethesda have learned to accept that hours-long downloads to play something you JUST PAID FOR is acceptable. Where a 5 GB patch on a console is OK. If this were a car they'd be saying, "Here's your car... but give us a day to install the engine. And another for paint." Are you kidding me?That said, this is truly a first-world problem. Despite my annoyance, I have other things to do (gasp, say the hard-core gamerz). Like play Uncharted 4 on my PS4. No download/update required to play out of the box.If you don't have a wicked broadband connection, a lot of patience, and a willingness to sign up for yet another unnecessary "service" that will inundate you with advertising and risk your personal info... might be a good time to stay away from Doom for the PC.Sorry, Bethesda, you blew it with an old gamer who used to be a big fan. This can't possibly be Carmack-approved (in the purest form of his metaphysical blessing...)I'll update my review by Labor Day... about when I expect to finish and play Doom (2016).