The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Paperback – December 29, 2009

Having read and benefited from several of Melody Beattie books I decided to purchase her newest book regarding Codependency. So glad that I did so. This book is so thought provoking and has been so enlightening for me!After re-reading several of Melody Beattie books (Co-Dependent No More, Beyond Co-Dependency, Journey of the Heart, Language of Letting Go, and also Co-Dependent Guide to the Twelve Steps, I found this book to be her best work ever and below is why this is now my favorite Melody Beattie book:1) Taking Care of Ourselves section - There is more information in this part of this book and more updated then her previous books. For example, in this beginning section, she shares some of her experiences. This sets the stage for more of how to take care of ones self that is explained more later into this book.2) My favorite part of this book (most helpful one) is SECTION TWO ..The Evolving Art of Self Care. This part gives two steps to help right away with Co-Dependency - 1) Identify Teachers and Lessons Learned 2) Expressing Gratitude is a powerful practice She suggests writing a Gratitude Journal and it does work!3) Also in Section Two is SETTING BOUNDARIES - This one has a checklist of how to set boundaries and how to set GOOD BOUNDARIES with people. This works in any type of relationship, with a partner, co-worker, friend, etc. This section has wonderful and to the point checklists that are easy to follow! And she even has a section on what Boundaries ARE NOT!4) The section on Is it Love or Control? This explains the difference between normal love and compassion vs a controlling relationship. Ms Beattie used her own life experiences to explain examples of controlling and more.5) The last section in this book called How To Find Help For Almost Anything - this is a must read section as it gives a number to call for help in all 50 states.6) This book is updated and NO FLUFF, just meaningful reading in my opinion.Highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to take better care of themselves whether in a relationship or not!

This is a great updated version and has a lot of applicable information for current times.

I have always been a fan of Melody Beattie's work, and I have benefited enormously from it since the old days of Codependent No More. I have not been in a relationship with someone addicted, but I nevertheless recognized myself in the description of the Codependent. There were so many similarities: not being able to take care of myself, obsessing about other people, taking care of everyone's needs (apart from my own, that is), not having boundaries. I seemed to be a textbook codependent, except that I did not get involved with alcoholics. So I just went along with what she had to say and read several of her books.The New Codependency is one of the best ones. It has all the usual qualities of her work:*She uses an empowering tone: of course you can make it. And to be honest, when she describes her life of a former junkie, you cannot help thinking: well, if she managed to get out of this mess, Surely I can get out of mine.*Her book is packed with examples. The fact of the matter is, I can see problems and solutions so much more easily when I read about someone else. Examples allow me to do that.*There is a lot of practical, down to earth advice. I cannot count the number of books I've read which describe my dreadful problems, but then leave me there with a vague "well I guess you need therapy" chapter. I hate it. Don't talk to me about my issues if you are not able to offer one hint of advice on how to solve them.In The New Codependency, Melody Beattie tackles important concepts she wrote about before (boundaries, taking care of oneself, deprivation, control...), but with a higher level of maturity . Because she does not go back to the basics, I would advise not to read this book without reading first her earlier work. If you have, then it provides additional hindsight and a wiser point of view.There are also new ideas. She insists to de-stigmatize codependency, explaining that it is just "normal behaviours, plus", that it is just a stage of grief - and I must say I find this new idea really interesting. There is a chapter about nurturing that I liked - she did not write about it earlier because she did not know what it was. And there is a whole section about emotions that I found really useful - I am one of these folks who have difficulties simply feeling.

As I started to really evaluate my life, my relationships and my parenting tendencies, I came across the word "codependency." I did not realize codependency happened outside of addiction. I had so much to learn!Beattie's book ripped me wide open. It was a fast read, if you didn't need to slow down and catch your breath ... reevaluate your life with every turn of the page. There were plenty of areas I did not identify with. However, the areas that reflected myself back to me forced me to see my intentions in a brand new light. This book was a big catalyst of change in my life. I finished it feeling empowered as well as humbled.I do too much for people. I give myself away too much. I have learned how to stop doing that and still find rich fulfillment in my life. I have been practicing self-care, as well as allowing others to take care of themselves unless I'm invited into their life to help.I gave the book four stars, because I feel it is the perfect companion to "Codependent No More." I wish the two could be combined into one piece. That would fulfill my five star rating. If you can only read one, I would choose "The New Codependency."

I have recommended and gifted this book more times than I can count over the years. I’m so thankful to you.