Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter

Mainly set in 1940-50’s China, Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter is a personal account a women’s lifelong hardships stemming from an unloving family and traditional Chinese thinking. It’s an emotional read that provokes empathy over the sadness of Mah’s story but also inspires confidence because of her determination to succeed in life.Despite growing up in a very powerful and wealthy family due to her Father’s export business, Mah didn’t have as enjoyable of a childhood as one would think. Right from birth, She was looked at negatively in the household as her mother died giving birth to her. Mah explains her position in the family blatantly when saying, “I knew that I was the least-loved child because I was a girl and because my mother had died giving birth to me.” Her family's perception of her characterizes the beliefs of 20th century China well: women were subordinate to men because they could not be able to provide for a family financially due to limited social mobility, and killing your mother in childbirth meant you were bad luck. These conditions already gave her bad relations with most of her family. Her father ignored her because her existence embodied the loss of his significant other, and her siblings tormented her because she was the youngest of the five.After the death of her mother, Mah’s father decided to remarry to a half European, half Chinese women whom the kids would call Niang (mother). Due to European culture being valued as high class in Chinese society, Niang viewed herself as better than the rest of the family and was uncontested in dominating the household. In her attempt to unspoil and teach the children important values, Niang set very strict rules on the children and would verbally and physically abuse them as punishment. Adeline vividly describes an instance during her primary school days, where Niang vigorously slapped her until her face was “stained with a mixture of tears and bloody mucus” because a couple of friends came to her house as a surprise (Mah 69). Due to the manipulative character of Niang, there was no hope for Mah to have a normal childhood where she could enjoy being a kid and feel supported by her parents.Even without the backbone of great parenting, Mah still managed to ignore discouragement and make something of her life primarily due to one person that did love her: her Aunt Baba. Aunt Baba provided her Adeline with comfort and made encouraged to take pride in her abilities and accomplishments. Because of her aunt’s protection and guidance, Adeline gained confidence in her academic ability and realized that education was a ticket to freedom away from her misery brought on by the rest of her family; Education was used as her motivation for a better life. As a result of her excellent academics, Adeline was eventually able to attend medical residency in the United States and establish an enjoyable life there.Mah’s writing style is more simple than complex, as she narrated her story from her past perspectives. Her language truly conveyed the intensity of her emotions at the time of the events, which allowed me to visualize the scenes well and understand how she really felt. There were times in the novel where Niang’s cruel actions toward Adeline infuriated me so much, that I physically wanted to punch her square in the face. Overall, this story is a reminder that if one has a strong will, they can overcome life’s challenges. It’s a story of perseverance. Thus, I suggest you read this book if you’re looking for motivation within your own life. After having read the circumstances Mah had to deal with, I realized not everyone has equal opportunity or privileges. Now, I am extremely grateful for certain aspects of life and freedoms I have, that Mah did not have. Everyone has problems with his or her own life; however, my problems seemed like minor issues in comparison to Mah’s ones. I feel that anyone that reads this book can a learn a lesson about adversity and feel inspired to accomplish their desires.

I first read Adeline Yen Mah's book for children, "Chinese Cinderella" and wanted to find out the ending. Yes Cinderella did find her prince, and he came from a poor family with a widowed mother, but brothers and sisters that cared for each other and the family, putting him, the youngest through school after their single mother was crippled from a massive stroke. Contrast this to Adeline's family who was financially very wealthy but devoid of love. Adeline was unwanted as a child, and very much unfavored. The children's book left me with the impression that she had finally escaped the clutches of her parents when she was sent to school in England. But this book shows that no matter where she went, how successful she was, she still fell into the clutches of her family's manipulations, and like a moth attracted to a burning lightbulb, she keeps getting burned over and over again.Woven inside the story of her family, are glimpses into 20th century China, from the Manchurian days of foot-binding and pigtails, to World War II and later the Communist takeover. Half of Adeline's family makes it to Hong Kong and the other half stayed back in China. These insights are valuable in that they do provide a point of view towards the modern history of China, from an upper class perspective, enclosed in the French concession. The menu of their ordinary dinner reads like a 5 star restaurant.Adeline's search for love and acceptance from her dysfunctional family is the main theme of the book. I hope writing it was cathartic for her, and that she can say like her brother, after all is done, "suan le". Because she really does need to let it all go. She is a successful doctor with a happy marriage. She should really try to forgive her siblings and dead parents. Ironically one of her chapters is entitled "Jia Chou Bu Ke Wai Yang", Family Ugliness Should Never be Aired in Public. Yet she does exactly that. Even though she disguised her siblings' names it will be hard to be reconciled with them. Her relationship with her stepmother is especially strange because even though her stepmother was abusive towards her, she seemed determined to ingratiate herself with her stepmother, especially in the last days when her stepmother had a terminal illness. She was sorely disappointed to find out that she had been left off her stepmother's will, and that a double-crossing sister had been remembered. Perhaps she will find comfort in knowing that her father was proud of her. But ultimately, in order to cast off the mantle of perpetual victimhood, she needs to let it all go. Throughout this book I find that the characters have no real peace, although they follow religious rituals. I pray that Adeline will find the Saviour she desperately needs who will forgive her sin, give her the love she seeks, and the ability to forgive people who have wronged her. Only then will she find real peace and joy as well as the acceptance that she craves.The only character in this book that is actually admirable is ironically her stepsister, Susan, who was also abused and ultimately disinherited by her own flesh-and-blood mother. She had the courage and gumption to tell her mother that she would not be mistreated anymore, and did not come groveling back when threatened with disinheritance. I'm willing to bet that had the parents not been so incredibly wealthy, none of the other children would have kowtowed to them the way they did. But as it is, the legacy of poison has spread to yet another generation upon the reading of the stepmother's will.

I enjoyed this book, even if I didnt always like the narrator. I'd like to comment on a number of the negative reviews. A lot of people seem to forget that a personal memoir is one individual's experience, seen from his or her perspective. This book was not meant to tell the history of China, give an in-depth analysis of the political situation over the last 50 years, or be a definitive work explaining Chinese culture. The author came from a well-to-do merchant family in Shanghai. The book would have been completely different had she been from a working-class family in Beijing or a farm family in one of the inner provinces. All she was doing was relating what she experienced. Since she was a small child at the time of the Second World War, obviously she would not have the same memories and reactions had she been an adult. Her family left for Hong Kong at the beginning of Communist rule and she was educated in Western countries. What experience would she have had of the Mao era and the Cultural Revolution? These readers have unrealistic expectations here as to the scope of the writing. It's like expecting The Diary of Anne Frank to give the same comprehensive coverage of the Holocaust and the war in Europe as maybe Shirer's The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. It's also important to remember that one person's experiences don't define an entire country or culture. The writer doesn't have to be a wonderful person or even a likeable person. The best thing that can come of reading another person's memoir is making the reader curious to learn more, particularly from other points of view. In that, at least with me, the author succeeded.

Well written very descriptive sad but hopeful i really fealt for the main character I want to read more of Adeline Yen mag’s books very soon.

Throughly enjoy this book, enjoyed learning about the different cultures and different times in another country. Good read, would recommend

As a Chinese , I find Adeline Yen Mah's books riveting. She is informative and very entertaining with re-telling China's incredible history. This is the part I love most about her books. I am starved of knowledge about my Chinese history, ethnicity and identity. Adeline Yen Mah iis filling that enormous VOID. Thank you and may you go on and on and on, writing about our glorious and not-so-glorious past.

I was browsing the site and I came upon this book which I read about 2 years ago. As soon as I saw the title I felt that I really should write a review because it was such an emotional experience reading this book. The author takes us through the death of her mother soon after her birth (the child being deemed a token of bad luck in China), the effect this had on her family relations and also the effect her father's subsequent marriage had on the family. You will tear your hair out with frustration because you want Adeleine to seek revenge on the family that treated her so badly. But for me the most important message in this book lies in the fact that rather than seek revenge she instead channelled her energy into putting together this well written account of her life. This book is full of lessons and different people will extract different things from it. It is definitely worth a read though if only to get an insight into a wealthy, yet emotionally bereft family living in China in the latter half of the 20th century. I would also recommend "Watching the tree" by the same author which deals with a lot of the Chinese philosophies raised in this book.

This book is excellent. Bought it some time ago and lent it out to someone. i decided to buy it again it is such a compelling read. It is a story about a young girl growing up in Chinese upper middle class culture who was hated by her step mum and had to overcome alot of adversity.I really enjoyed reading about the culture and just how much you can overcome.

I haven't finished this book yet but I am thoroughly enjoying it. Don't be put off by the beginning, there's lots of characters to remember but it doesn't take long to get used to them. The storyline is gradually developing - a real page turner!